Unfortunately, the submissive fantasies can be ugly.

Your husband/boyfriend did not choose to be submissive, and he did not choose those fantasies. No one would. They just happen. Blaming him, as it turns out, is a bad strategy.

So the two of you have to deal with those fantasies. We will suggest that they may not be what he needs, you should find something you enjoy, and you may be able to decrease the fantasies you do not like.