As far as we know, some men are born submissive. The submissive man needs something like control or someone to submit to, at least some of the time. Submissive men rarely act submissive in real life.

Without any control, he starts to kink. His kinks are about losing control. The strong dominatrix. Being tied up. He cannot have a fantasy about intercourse with a beautiful woman, because he would do that voluntarily. So he fantasizes about scenes where he is forced to do things he doesn't want to do. These can be ugly. Being degraded is erotic, but that makes him weak and easier to control, and he craves control.

He does not choose to be submissive, and he does not choose his kinks. As far as we know, there is nothing he can do to stop them from forming. Do not blame him for his submissiveness or his kinks.

Some submissive men do not act out their fantasies. Some act out their fantasies and do not feel guilty. Many submissive men try not to act out their fantasies -- they try to be good -- but their willpower sooner or later runs out. Then they feel guilty.

The cleanest form of submission, without any kinks, is service (and worship). Imagine, if you had an infant, having a husband who is willing to do whatever you ask of him. Clean submission is an ideal; your husband almost certainly has kinks.