Almost everything I know about worship comes from a man I will call Ulysses.

I do not mean goddess as a real religious God. And being a goddess does not mean perfection. But I cannot think of a better word for this experience. Ulysses wrote:

To acknowledge the Goddess in someone is to acknowledge their importance. It is also to legitimize their every feeling as a woman. It is to let them cry and to let them sing. It is to openly express adoration of the place of every man's birth. There is worship but there is frailty not perfection and there is blessedness not religion. For her to feel like a Goddess may be difficult.

From my notes:

Serenity. Opposite of irritiable. Filled with love and caring for all. Attuned to their emotions and needs. So full and big as to lose your sense of self. Opposite of petty. Opposite of cold, uncaring, aloof. Being one with all. Lack of sense of self means you are taken over my other person's emotions. But large like a lake, those emotions are incorporated. So you could cry with someone, if that was the right thing to do, or try to fix, or explain.

Goddess Worship

Ulysses wrote a story about a foot bath. This is my rewrite of his story.

She comes home. You greet her. She seems tired and irritable. She sits down. You feel inside yourself for what will make her better. Foot bath. You smile, glad that she is home. You adjust the lights. You set a towel and lotion by her feet. The lotion has already received her approval. You find a basin large enough to accomodate both her feet. You fill it with comfortably warm water. She cannot see you, but she can hear the water filling the basin. You add epsom salt. You carry it to her and silently offer it as a place to rest her tired feet. She nods okay. You carefully take off her shoes and neatly set them aside. Panty hose. You look to her. Irritation crosses her face, then resignation. She takes off her panty hose. As she raises her feet, but before they enter the water, you sprinkle a little water over her arch, so that she might judge its temperature. She nods yes. The soaking cleans her feet. The salts pull the lactic acids from her muscles, relaxing them and releasing any discomfort. You see her smile. She closes her eyes to enjoy your attention. She is happy. You breath a sigh of relief and happiness. You tenderly massage her feet in the basin. You have told her before that the salts need working into her skin. When it is time for her to withdraw her feet, you pat them dry them with the towel. Then you apply the lotion, and continue your gentle massage. Her eyes are open now and she is looking down at you. You give casual attention to her inner thighs, using your eyes only. You quickly follow this with an attentive glance at her eyes. Then you coyly look away and back to her feet. When you are done, she smiles at you. You are happy. She says, that was wonderful. Thank you. She sounds contended. Your insides warm up with delight. Life is good.

Ulysses is a master at worship. You do not need to do everything he would do. But if you want to copy some of his tricks, notice the ritual and elegance of his actions. Physically, worship is giving her luxuries, not necessities. It is nice that the towels are clean. Ulysses suggested decorating a picture of her with a flower.

And if you can't be graceful or elegant, fine. One man just massaged his wife's feet as they sat together. You must be yourself, because you are part of the gift, and if you are part of the gift, she will appreciate it.

Creating a Goddess

You are supposed to worship her because she is your goddess, and you feel like she is your goddess, and you want to worship her and please her. She is so important to you, so powerful in your life, that she feels like a goddess to you.

But I think it is an ancient dance, and you are only half of the dance. I do not know how your wife will respond. But I can try to tell you my reactions to goddess worship. The short story is, his worship created a goddess. The same story from the woman's view.

You come home, tired and irritable. He greets you, immediately noticing your mood. You collapse into a chair. You don't feel like a goddess. You feel petty. The towel and lotion. He is trying to cheer you up. The sound of running water. Delight crosses your mind. He presents the water. The luxury of having him take off your shoes. The irritation of having to take off your panty hose. You just want to sit in the chair and relax. Okay, take them off. And then a luxurious foot bath. You close your eyes and enjoy the attention. Everything petty melts away. You just feel good. A foot massage. How sensuous. Finally, you are ready to pull your feet out of the water. He is already reaching for the towel. You now feel like a goddess. Patting your feet dry. Now he sensuously applies lotion. You feel overwhelmed. Pleasure pushes your brain beyond its boundaries. Your sense of self disappears in peace, joy, and love. Earth Goddess. You want to reach out to the world and care for it. You are now a goddess. You look down at him. He is just wants you to be happy. You are. And now you are his too. He looks up at you, a quick glance, a sexual glance. You remember your humanity too. A smile bursts out of your face and will not go away. He is done. You thank him with all your heart. Life is good.

From my notes:

I feel like my caring encompasses all people. I feel the confidence of perfection, with the awareness of limitations and error. Peace. Timelessness. Powerful sense that I am a worthy being. Making me feel so good about myself that I want to care for others. I didn't realize how much it takes from me.


Another name for worship is pampering. She should physically enjoy the foot bath, the massage, the poetry, or whatever.

But the other half of pampering is your attention. Ulysses suggested I pamper myself with a lovely luxurious bath. It was physically wonderful, but I also felt lonely. Ultimately, your wife cannot pamper herself. She can go out for a professional massage, or to have a pedicure, but that is like you trying to submit to someone on the internet. She is the one who should be your mistress, and you are the one she needs to do the pampering.

So remember that you are half of the pampering.


Ulysses thinks goddess worship is different from being obedient. He wrote

On some points, especially those associated with the Goddess, I don't see the profit psychologically of being told what to do. One just knows how to treat a Goddess. Goddesses do cajole but mostly they inspire. The very essence of Goddess is inspiration and necessary adoration. But this is a case, as we have discussed before, where one has to tailor the experience correctly for each individual.

So a slave or servant obeys. A hero thinks for himself and offers his worship voluntarily. I know, you can take this too far. But I think he is right, there is a difference. In goddess worship, you are more independent. You can still be sensitive to her needs and ask what she wants. But hopefully she does not initiate the worship, and you should be able to do it without her orders. Remember, you are pampering her. For one moment, she is safe and comfortable in your caring hands.

Also, in my version of the foot bath, Ulysses is the perfect one, I am not. This website constantly emphasizes the role of an obedient knight, but hero worshipper might also work.

Worship does not seem to be a regular part of the male fantasy. It probably is a mature form of submission. If it is not your fantasy, then it probably will not work well for you, but even then you probably want to try it sometimes.


The best known worship is massage, and the best known massage is the foot massage. If your wife likes it, a simple foot massage can be a great form of worship. (I do not know why feet are often associated with worship.)

Other forms of worship are writing stories or poetry. Ulysses suggested decorating a picture of her with flowers.

Step 1. Understanding

Step 3. One Foot out of the Closet

Step 4. Telling Her

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