Encouraging Submission?

Perhaps you do not want to encourage your husband to be submissive. But if he needs control and submission, he needs it. This website is about discouraging kinks and weakness; if there is a way to change his need for some control, we do not know it. And think twice before discouraging clean submission. If you make a competent and caring decision, you might want the power to enforce it.

His dance of submission turns on your dominance. This webpage is about your dance of dominance turning on his clean submission.

Remind Him

He promised to be submissive and then when you asked him to do something, he forgot. This is natural. He has not learned to be submissive and you have not turned on his submission.

The first thing you can do is simply remind him. Eroticism helps. Tell him he is not being a good slave. Remind him that a good slave is always obedient. He might need to be submissive yet not really know how to do it. Be patient with him and help him to learn submission and even to develop his own style.

DO NOT. If he ever directly fights your domination, stop dominating him immediately. In other words, if you tell him to do something, and he says no, you are morally obligated to stop dominating. Give him a hug and pronounce him cured. Or have certain times for domination. This page is about what to do when he still wants to be submissive, he just forgets or loses his self-control but is now apologetic.

Do not be Dissed

If you give a command, he should either obey or explain why he thinks he shouldn't obey. Then it is your decision. If he just ignores your command, he is not respecting you. You will not feel dominant, and he will have difficulty feeling submissive. Again, if he is directly disobedient, that is very different and you should stop dominating.

Get Real Power

Ideally, he will be submissive because he wants to, or because he wants to turn on your dominance. But real power might help trigger his submissiveness. When you tie him up and he cannot escape, you have real power. When you lock him in a chastity device, you have real power. When you control his spending money, you have real power.

Initiation?

When he first starts out, he might need some serious domination. You might even have to break him down a little, so that you are in charge and then can build him back up as a knight. We don't know. This is dangerous and hopefully you won't have to do it. If you do, think of it like an initiation.

Be Caring and Trustworthy

If you had a serious disease, you would want a doctor who was competent and cared for you. Then you could just accept and trust what he told you to do. You can call this trusting in authority, but it is also a light, pleasant style of submission. Everyone's different, but you probably want to teach your husband this style of submission. Your husband has been protecting himself his whole life, but that's not the happiest way for him to relate to you.

He can experience this light submission if you are competent and caring. Competent means that you take your power seriously, you collect information and try to make good decisions. Caring means you care about HIM. Yes, you use him as a resource to care for your home and family. Yes, he should be caring for you. But he needs to be on the list too. You might think he can take care of his own happiness. This might not be true, because you make good judgments and he might appreciate your encouragement. Even if it was true, it is not a good style of caring domination. He needs to feel your caring.

Getting His Help