Becoming a Dominant

Your husband wants you to dominate him. What will be different?

Probably sex. Some submissive men are interested only in sexual scenes and have no interest in submissiveness outside the bedroom. That's fine, but not what this website preaches, so if your husband sent you to this website, he probably wants to be dominated outside the bedroom too. (But sex is still very important to him.)

And now you are in charge. The boss. The queen. But probably you were already in charge of home, children, or social relations. Now he is a part of your dominion. But you probably already tried to control him. Maybe he was a resource to care for home and family. He might have already followed your directions for social relationships. So this could be a big change in power, but it probably isn't.

The change is this. There is a primitive part of his personality that wants to be dominated. You are going to plug into that primitive part of his personality. You are going to dance the ancient dance of domination. You are going to be the goddess he is looking for. You are going to use his sexual desire to have control over him. When you tap into that primitive part of his personality, serving you is going to become erotic to him. He will be enslaved by his love for you, and that too will be erotic for him.

You already care for your husband, or you wouldn't be here. But you might think he can manage his own happiness by himself, without your attention. It will probably help your dominion if you sometimes exert your dominance to help care for him.

As queen, you need to MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS AND DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT. That's part of being dominant. You can still ask him what he wants. You can still accept wise counsel. You can still grant him boons. That's part of being competent and caring. But you are the queen amd you make the final decision.

So you are starting a process of slow growth. He is too. You and he are going to change how you relate, and you are going to change for the better. You are going to hit bumps in the road. You will have to communicate. It will not be easy. But it should be fun.

If you are going to control him, you need to understand him. Their is no replacement for communication. But some of our webpages explain about submissiveness. Why is he submissive? What can you change and what can't you change?

You are need to be dominant, caring, and competent. There is no replacement for exploring and seeing what you like and what works for you. But our webpages will explain how to be dominant and caring.

It also helps to know where you are going. We describe how to build a strong knight, clean submission, and a trusting submission. Most submissives sooner or later find the knight image appealing. But psychological destruction is very erotic. A major tension of caring domination is being erotic and yet trying to avoid things that make him smaller.