Living with a Submissive

If you married a submissive, the good news is that he wants to please you. You probably want to tap into that desire, not turn it off.

Show Pleasure

A submissive can be rewarded by seeing your pleasure. Explain why you will be pleased and show your pleasure.


Displeasure punishes a submissive. So in the short-run it is a very effective method of control. However, if he cannot avoid your displeasure, he might withdraw. If he withdraws so much that he does not want to please you any more, then only displeasure will control him, and you and he are caught in an endlessly destructive loop.

Also, if he is trying to please you, he does not deserve displeasure. If he is not trying to please you, it sounds like you have lost his submission, and the problem is to regain that submission.

Encourage Him to Enjoy Himself

You should use your control over your submissive to satisify the needs of home and family, and also to satisfy your own needs. That is fair. Your submissive will be content to be fourth on your list, but make sure he knows he is on your list. A good way to encourage his submission is to use your domination to help him be happy.