Being Submissive

Being the submissive is easy. All you have to do is follow orders, comply with requests, and satisfy any stated desires of your dominant. You should also be polite and respectful. Your dominant can tell you how to act. You just go along for the ride and enjoy.

Do not look for danger, but if your safety cop wakes up and warns of danger, pay attention. Use common sense. If a command does not seem right, ask your dominant.

The submissive attitude is not as easy. If your dominant is trying to make good decisions for you, just trust him or her. Be relaxed and accepting; don't evaluate.

Another strength of the submissive is being open and honest. If someone is controlling you, you want them to know about you. A good dominant will seek information; a good submissive will provide it.

Psychological Abuse

Humiliation, guilt, and punishment are standard activities in BDSM. They can be VERY erotic. They can also reduce willpower and self-esteem.

You DO NOT want to have a submissive crush on someone who is making you smaller. It is very difficult to leave anyone during the submissive crush, and it becomes even more and more difficult as you become smaller and smaller.

So, DO NOT ever let a dominant make you smaller. Point out the problem so that it stops, or leave while you are strong.

If you cannot leave a psychologically abusive relationship, try to temporarily leave it. Talk to someone and listen to their advice. You can always come to our web site, and there are other resources.


Your primary right is leaving the relationship.

If you don't properly respond to your dominant's requests, disapproval is fair. But in caring domination, unexpected disapproval or punishment is inappropriate. You do not have to guess what your dominant wants.

In caring domination, you should offer wise counsel, if you judge that you know something your dominant would like to know.